1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com

2
00:00:04,374 --> 00:00:05,807
<i>Attention, campers!</i>

3
00:00:05,809 --> 00:00:07,976
<i>I have some shocking news!</i>

4
00:00:07,978 --> 00:00:11,013
Let me guess, she got
stood up on another date?

5
00:00:11,015 --> 00:00:15,384
If it happens every weekend, Does that
really qualify as shocking? (Chuckles)

6
00:00:15,386 --> 00:00:17,519
<i>As of the end of this summer...</i>

7
00:00:17,521 --> 00:00:20,789
<i>Camp Kikiwaka is closing...</i>

8
00:00:21,391 --> 00:00:22,724
<i>Forever!</i>

9
00:00:22,726 --> 00:00:24,292
(Amplified nose blowing) (All groaning)

10
00:00:25,561 --> 00:00:28,997
<i>So you'll excuse me
if I seem a little down.</i>

11
00:00:28,999 --> 00:00:30,365
Have we ever seen her up?

12
00:00:31,234 --> 00:00:32,834
<i>Enjoy your day!</i>

13
00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:33,902
(Sobbing)

14
00:00:35,238 --> 00:00:36,671
Gladys, wait!

15
00:00:36,673 --> 00:00:38,473
Did you just say the camp is closing?

16
00:00:38,475 --> 00:00:39,708
That's right.

17
00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:42,210
We haven't gotten enough
applications for next year.

18
00:00:42,212 --> 00:00:45,647
Even though most of our
cabins feature skylights.

19
00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:47,382
Those are termite holes!

20
00:00:48,251 --> 00:00:49,584
Potato,
pot-ah-to.

21
00:00:51,087 --> 00:00:53,655
We don't have any of those either.

22
00:00:53,657 --> 00:00:56,658
Our potato salad is
just expired mayonnaise.

23
00:00:58,828 --> 00:01:01,763
Xander, I'll miss you
and this camp so much.

24
00:01:01,765 --> 00:01:04,733
I'll think of you every time a
mosquito sucks blood out of my leg.

25
00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:06,401
That's sweet.

26
00:01:06,403 --> 00:01:07,235
And gross.

27
00:01:08,404 --> 00:01:09,871
Guys, relax.

28
00:01:09,873 --> 00:01:11,706
Two things happen every summer.

29
00:01:11,708 --> 00:01:15,277
Gladys threatens to shut down the camp,
and there's a food poisoning scare.

30
00:01:15,279 --> 00:01:18,346
And the only one that actually
happens is the food poisoning.

31
00:01:18,348 --> 00:01:20,228
Oh, you mean like last
night when that chocolate

32
00:01:20,236 --> 00:01:22,397
pudding you were eating
turned out to be old guacamole?

33
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,352
Bingo.

34
00:01:24,354 --> 00:01:25,420
So quit worrying.

35
00:01:25,422 --> 00:01:27,422
The camp is not closing down.

36
00:01:27,424 --> 00:01:29,057
(Sobbing) Goodbye, flag.

37
00:01:29,059 --> 00:01:32,694
I'll miss flying you at half-mast
every time I get a new gray hair.

38
00:01:34,230 --> 00:01:35,797
Uh-oh.

39
00:01:35,799 --> 00:01:37,399
Now I've got a bad feeling in my stomach.

40
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,334
And it's not just the guacamole pudding.

41
00:01:41,104 --> 00:01:43,705
Gladys, why did you just sell the flagpole?

42
00:01:43,707 --> 00:01:46,908
Well, since the camp is closing,
I have to sell everything I can

43
00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:48,643
to pay for a new place to live.

44
00:01:48,645 --> 00:01:50,745
Can I interest you in
some sandals? (Chuckles)

45
00:01:50,747 --> 00:01:52,114
Never mind, these are ladies'.

46
00:01:52,116 --> 00:01:53,215
Oh.

47
00:01:53,217 --> 00:01:54,316
Those are mine!

48
00:01:56,486 --> 00:01:58,286
<i>♪ Here we go</i>

49
00:01:58,288 --> 00:02:01,490
<i>♪ We're leaving the
city behind right now</i>

50
00:02:01,492 --> 00:02:03,492
<i>♪ Let's gather by the campfire light</i>

51
00:02:03,494 --> 00:02:05,494
<i>♪ And sing this song</i>

52
00:02:05,496 --> 00:02:07,496
<i>All: ♪ Kikiwaka</i>

53
00:02:08,397 --> 00:02:10,432
<i>♪ Hanging out with someone new</i>

54
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:13,435
<i>♪ Then falling out of a camp canoe</i>

55
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,604
<i>♪ What's that smell? It's on your shoe</i>

56
00:02:15,606 --> 00:02:17,139
<i>All: ♪ Kikiwaka</i>

57
00:02:18,341 --> 00:02:20,775
<i>♪ Got a s'more in my hair</i>

58
00:02:20,777 --> 00:02:23,111
<i>♪ Mosquitos in our underwear</i>

59
00:02:23,113 --> 00:02:25,413
<i>♪ Shower's broke but we don't care</i>

60
00:02:25,415 --> 00:02:27,115
<i>All: ♪ Kikiwaka</i>

61
00:02:27,117 --> 00:02:32,320
<i>♪ This is our home away from
home away from home away from home</i>

62
00:02:32,322 --> 00:02:36,291
<i>♪ But watch your back
A bear just ate my phone</i>

63
00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:38,527
<i>All: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka</i>

64
00:02:38,529 --> 00:02:40,829
<i>All: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka</i>

65
00:02:40,831 --> 00:02:44,032
<i>All: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪</i>

66
00:02:55,211 --> 00:02:58,647
I can't imagine why no one's
signed up for camp next summer.

67
00:02:58,649 --> 00:03:01,082
I mean, check out my cool website. (Clicks)

68
00:03:01,817 --> 00:03:05,353
Uh, Gladys, that's a picture of a
middle aged man with a comb-over.

69
00:03:05,355 --> 00:03:06,788
Ooh. Wrong page.

70
00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:09,357
Ooh, rich widower? Swipe right. (Chuckles)

71
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:11,660
(Ms. Gladys sighs)

72
00:03:11,662 --> 00:03:16,831
And the best part of the site is this
amazing promotional video I made.

73
00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:18,233
I know we're gonna regret this.

74
00:03:18,235 --> 00:03:20,368
Let's check out this bad boy!

75
00:03:21,571 --> 00:03:23,104
(Music playing)

76
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:27,676
<i>Hey, kids, the nuclear
arms race got ya down?</i>

77
00:03:27,678 --> 00:03:29,477
<i>Well, come to Camp Kikiwaka!</i>

78
00:03:29,479 --> 00:03:31,613
<i>We have classes in hacky sacking,</i>

79
00:03:32,715 --> 00:03:34,549
<i>acid-washing your jeans,</i>

80
00:03:35,851 --> 00:03:37,419
<i>and even moonwalking!</i>

81
00:03:39,555 --> 00:03:41,990
<i>It's totally tubular!</i>

82
00:03:41,992 --> 00:03:45,527
<i>Oh, look, it's our dreamy
head counselor, Morgan Ross.</i>

83
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,262
<i>Oh, Morgy!</i>

84
00:03:50,032 --> 00:03:51,499
<i>Well, gotta go!</i>

85
00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:53,268
<i>See you at camp! (Chuckling)</i>

86
00:03:55,605 --> 00:03:57,439
I made that myself!

87
00:03:57,441 --> 00:03:59,507
That was horrifying.

88
00:03:59,509 --> 00:04:00,775
I know.

89
00:04:00,777 --> 00:04:02,244
Dad had a mustache?

90
00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:05,013
He sure did.

91
00:04:05,015 --> 00:04:08,049
I used to dream of
kissing that soup-strainer.

92
00:04:08,051 --> 00:04:09,351
(Giggles) (All shuddering)

93
00:04:13,189 --> 00:04:16,424
Okay, there's only one
way to save this place.

94
00:04:16,426 --> 00:04:18,426
We need to make a new promotional video.

95
00:04:18,428 --> 00:04:21,529
Yeah, something a little
more this century.

96
00:04:23,065 --> 00:04:26,534
Hey, how about we do a live webcast!

97
00:04:26,536 --> 00:04:27,902
That's a great idea!

98
00:04:27,904 --> 00:04:29,704
We just have to get a bunch of viewers.

99
00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:32,240
I have 150,000 fans on Farmpage.

100
00:04:32,242 --> 00:04:34,242
If I let them know, they'll watch for sure.

101
00:04:34,244 --> 00:04:36,244
I thought all of your fans are pigs.

102
00:04:36,246 --> 00:04:37,545
And their owners.

103
00:04:37,547 --> 00:04:38,647
And some chickens!

104
00:04:40,449 --> 00:04:42,317
And I have 300,000 fans.

105
00:04:42,319 --> 00:04:44,953
And all of them are humans.

106
00:04:44,955 --> 00:04:47,389
That's great. And the
three of us can host it.

107
00:04:47,391 --> 00:04:48,456
Great idea.

108
00:04:49,925 --> 00:04:51,059
Right on!

109
00:04:53,596 --> 00:04:55,897
And I too will promote the event online.

110
00:04:55,899 --> 00:04:57,932
After all, I drew quite the crowd

111
00:04:57,934 --> 00:05:01,169
for last year's Reptile
Leash and Collar Convention.

112
00:05:01,171 --> 00:05:02,337
Crowd?

113
00:05:02,339 --> 00:05:04,072
You only got six people.

114
00:05:04,074 --> 00:05:07,242
It was going to be seven, but
Jonas Epstein was a no-show.

115
00:05:07,244 --> 00:05:08,476
His python choked him out.

116
00:05:10,246 --> 00:05:11,313
We sent flowers.

117
00:05:15,418 --> 00:05:17,585
Knock, knock, ladies!

118
00:05:17,587 --> 00:05:19,354
I want to see what you're planning on doing

119
00:05:19,356 --> 00:05:22,090
For the "save camp
Kikiwaka" Webcast. (Chuckles)

120
00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:25,260
Does this answer your question?

121
00:05:25,262 --> 00:05:29,531
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl
going to the bathroom?

122
00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:31,700
Because the "P" is silent.

123
00:05:37,473 --> 00:05:39,674
You're going to talk
about dinosaur bladders?

124
00:05:41,844 --> 00:05:44,279
No, I'm doing stand-up comedy!

125
00:05:45,614 --> 00:05:47,549
Because I'm hilarious.

126
00:05:47,551 --> 00:05:48,883
You two got a problem with that?

127
00:05:48,885 --> 00:05:49,951
(Gasps)

128
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,623
Forgive me, but I do not see how you
telling jokes is going to save the camp.

129
00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:58,860
Because, funny videos are the most popular

130
00:05:58,862 --> 00:06:01,229
non-cat-related
things on the Internet.

131
00:06:02,398 --> 00:06:04,466
Once I go viral,

132
00:06:04,468 --> 00:06:06,668
everybody is going to want to
come here and hang out with me.

133
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:07,736
Hmm.

134
00:06:07,738 --> 00:06:10,538
And when Lame-y Schumer here bombs,

135
00:06:12,575 --> 00:06:16,344
I'm going to wow the crowd with
a classical violin concerto.

136
00:06:16,346 --> 00:06:19,981
Tiffany, the only kids who will be
wowed by that cannot come to camp,

137
00:06:19,983 --> 00:06:23,084
because they are too busy getting
their wedgies surgically removed.

138
00:06:24,653 --> 00:06:27,255
Ah! That's a crack-up!

139
00:06:28,023 --> 00:06:29,391
Get it?

140
00:06:29,393 --> 00:06:31,292
Butt crack? Crack-up?

141
00:06:33,362 --> 00:06:34,629
Is this brush on?

142
00:06:36,532 --> 00:06:39,567
Okay, I am sorry, but as
the director of this webcast,

143
00:06:39,569 --> 00:06:42,871
I demand that you both do
something with broader appeal.

144
00:06:42,873 --> 00:06:44,906
And by that, I mean any appeal.

145
00:06:46,542 --> 00:06:49,277
Okay, maybe people would like to see

146
00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,514
how far I can shove this
brush up the director's nose!

147
00:06:52,516 --> 00:06:54,783
Or if this violin bow can
fit all the way in his...

148
00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:56,851
Okay!

149
00:06:56,853 --> 00:06:59,587
How about we go with your first
ideas? (Chuckles nervously)

150
00:06:59,589 --> 00:07:01,109
Good talk! Catch you on the flip-flop!

151
00:07:03,392 --> 00:07:06,394
So, anybody here from out of town?

152
00:07:06,396 --> 00:07:09,130
It's summer camp. Everyone
here's from out of town!

153
00:07:13,068 --> 00:07:15,970
Okay, guys, let's do some
brainstorming for the webcast.

154
00:07:15,972 --> 00:07:20,375
I've got a tornado of
good ideas right up here.

155
00:07:20,377 --> 00:07:22,577
Emma always has amazing ideas.

156
00:07:22,579 --> 00:07:23,745
Xander's are even better.

157
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:24,813
No, yours are!

158
00:07:24,815 --> 00:07:26,448
(Both giggling) (Chuckles)

159
00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:28,049
Okay, still haven't heard an idea!

160
00:07:29,652 --> 00:07:34,389
Well... My idea is that we should focus
on the athletic activities at camp,

161
00:07:34,391 --> 00:07:36,624
like soccer, baseball, water-skiing...

162
00:07:36,626 --> 00:07:39,427
Or maybe we could focus on
the unique camp traditions,

163
00:07:39,429 --> 00:07:45,099
like the spirit stick, Kikiwaka
Day, Jock Itch Jubilee...

164
00:07:45,101 --> 00:07:47,135
That was more of a
gathering than a jubilee.

165
00:07:48,771 --> 00:07:51,639
Traditions are nice, but athletics
might be more of a selling point.

166
00:07:52,608 --> 00:07:55,443
Really? 'Cause you hate sports.

167
00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:58,313
Have you ever even used the
word "sports" in a sentence?

168
00:07:58,315 --> 00:08:00,515
"Xander looks amazing playing sports."

169
00:08:01,684 --> 00:08:03,818
Wow, I walked right into that one.

170
00:08:07,623 --> 00:08:08,790
Hey, guys!

171
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,659
Gladys is letting us use
her tablet for the webcast!

172
00:08:11,661 --> 00:08:13,261
Oh, does she want to be a part of it?

173
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:17,532
No, she thinks it is a total waste
of time, much like her electrolysis.

174
00:08:17,534 --> 00:08:20,435
The woman has knuckles
like a silverback gorilla.

175
00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:24,138
Hey, guys.

176
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:26,708
So, what do you think?

177
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:29,878
You have a date with an oak later?

178
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,715
I still think we should
show cool camp traditions.

179
00:08:33,717 --> 00:08:37,285
Oh, great wood spirits, I
honor you with this dance!

180
00:08:43,325 --> 00:08:46,427
I have not seen her move like
that since she sat on that anthill.

181
00:08:48,864 --> 00:08:50,732
Now for the sacrifice.

182
00:08:50,734 --> 00:08:52,367
Someone get me a rat from the kitchen.

183
00:08:54,236 --> 00:08:57,138
Um, Lou, I don't think
carving up a rodent

184
00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:58,540
would be our biggest selling point.

185
00:08:59,475 --> 00:09:02,076
Agreed. We should stick to sports.

186
00:09:02,078 --> 00:09:04,212
Maybe I should show you the dance again.

187
00:09:04,214 --> 00:09:05,280
All: No!

188
00:09:06,916 --> 00:09:09,717
Well, since Emma and I are doing a
tetherball demo for the webcast,

189
00:09:09,719 --> 00:09:10,919
we better go practice.

190
00:09:10,921 --> 00:09:12,086
What's there to practice?

191
00:09:12,088 --> 00:09:13,454
It's a ball on a rope!

192
00:09:14,723 --> 00:09:18,159
I have to try hard to keep up
with Xander, 'cause he's awesome.

193
00:09:18,161 --> 00:09:19,494
You're awesome-er!

194
00:09:19,496 --> 00:09:20,562
(Both laughing)

195
00:09:24,233 --> 00:09:25,934
That is so annoying.

196
00:09:25,936 --> 00:09:28,336
You mean their bad grammar? I know.

197
00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:31,706
It is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

198
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:34,709
No, I mean they're so
wrapped up in each other,

199
00:09:34,711 --> 00:09:36,671
they're kind of making me
feel like a third wheel.

200
00:09:37,513 --> 00:09:38,913
I am sorry.

201
00:09:38,915 --> 00:09:42,884
I wish I could help, but I am not
good with interpersonal conflicts.

202
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:47,055
My best friend never speaks, and sheds
an entire layer of skin every year.

203
00:09:47,057 --> 00:09:48,590
Oh, Mrs. Kipling is your best friend?

204
00:09:48,592 --> 00:09:49,824
No, Harold Thomas. Mmm.

205
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,761
He is shy, and always
forgets to use sunscreen.

206
00:09:55,598 --> 00:09:57,632
I just feel so left out.

207
00:09:57,634 --> 00:09:59,434
Well, you should tell them that!

208
00:09:59,436 --> 00:10:03,137
I can't go tell my two best friends
that their happiness is bumming me out.

209
00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:04,706
I would look like an idiot!

210
00:10:09,044 --> 00:10:10,612
(Violin playing)

211
00:10:12,915 --> 00:10:15,883
Can you please stop playing that?

212
00:10:15,885 --> 00:10:17,418
I can't hear my jokes.

213
00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:19,120
You're welcome.

214
00:10:19,122 --> 00:10:20,555
Is that song a lullaby?

215
00:10:20,557 --> 00:10:21,957
Because you're putting me to sleep.

216
00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:26,294
This happens to be a classical masterpiece!

217
00:10:26,962 --> 00:10:29,063
Which is also a lullaby.

218
00:10:29,065 --> 00:10:32,900
We're supposed to be
attracting cool, fun kids.

219
00:10:32,902 --> 00:10:37,672
If you play music like that, we're going
to attract kids like you and Ravi.

220
00:10:37,674 --> 00:10:39,841
Well, your jokes are really killing it.

221
00:10:39,843 --> 00:10:42,076
And by "it," I mean my will to live.

222
00:10:43,946 --> 00:10:45,179
Very funny.

223
00:10:45,181 --> 00:10:46,481
That makes one of us.

224
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:53,021
Ravi: Okay, our "Save
Camp Kikiwaka" webcast

225
00:10:53,023 --> 00:10:54,503
Goes live in one minute! (Emma gasps)

226
00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:56,290
(Tablet beeping)

227
00:10:56,292 --> 00:11:01,029
(Gasps) Ooh, my fashion fans can't
wait to see how cool Camp Kikiwaka is.

228
00:11:01,031 --> 00:11:04,465
Although they're a little less excited
since we're all wearing the same shirt.

229
00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:07,035
And my pig fans are excited too!

230
00:11:07,037 --> 00:11:08,836
Except I seem to be down a few hundred.

231
00:11:08,838 --> 00:11:10,872
What happened?

232
00:11:10,874 --> 00:11:12,874
A new barbecue place must
have opened up back home.

233
00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:15,877
Every time that happens,
I lose half my fans.

234
00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:17,979
Oh, do not smudge the lens!

235
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,615
The fingerprints will make you
look like you have wrinkles.

236
00:11:20,617 --> 00:11:21,683
(Gasps and blows)

237
00:11:23,952 --> 00:11:26,988
I know you guys didn't want to
show any of our camp traditions,

238
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:32,026
but what if I wow them with my whittling?

239
00:11:32,028 --> 00:11:34,896
That, or we could show
them a cool kayak race.

240
00:11:34,898 --> 00:11:36,898
(Gasps) Ooh, Xander, that'd be awesome!

241
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:42,503
Is it me, or are they
belittlin' my whittlin'?

242
00:11:42,505 --> 00:11:45,306
Hey, Emma, let's do our
Grizzchuck Greeting for good luck!

243
00:11:45,308 --> 00:11:46,474
Okay.

244
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:48,643
(Both clicking tongues) Grr, grr!

245
00:11:50,012 --> 00:11:52,714
What in the Kikiwaka was that?

246
00:11:52,716 --> 00:11:54,315
Oh, it's a combination of

247
00:11:54,317 --> 00:11:56,357
the Grizzly Cabin Bear Hug
and the Woodchuck Salute!

248
00:11:56,819 --> 00:11:57,566
Okay.

249
00:11:57,597 --> 00:12:00,555
You can do what you want
with your little Grizzly Hug,

250
00:12:00,557 --> 00:12:03,891
but no one ever changes
the Woodchuck Salute.

251
00:12:03,893 --> 00:12:05,927
Oh, sorry, Lou. We thought it'd be cute.

252
00:12:05,929 --> 00:12:10,064
Yeah, about as cute as a grizzly
bashing a woodchuck's brains in.

253
00:12:10,066 --> 00:12:13,334
Is that cute? It doesn't sound cute.

254
00:12:13,336 --> 00:12:16,204
This is not the time for a salute dispute!

255
00:12:16,206 --> 00:12:17,405
We are on in, oh!

256
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:18,606
Three... (Gasps)

257
00:12:18,608 --> 00:12:19,907
Two...

258
00:12:21,510 --> 00:12:25,113
Welcome to Camp Kikiwaka,
where dreams come true!

259
00:12:25,115 --> 00:12:26,914
And great memories are made!

260
00:12:26,916 --> 00:12:29,417
And you, too, can be a part of the fun!

261
00:12:31,086 --> 00:12:32,720
<i>I'm Xander,</i>

262
00:12:32,722 --> 00:12:34,956
<i>one of the counselors here
at the great Camp Kikiwaka.</i>

263
00:12:35,891 --> 00:12:39,127
<i>And this is Emma, our cutest CIT.</i>

264
00:12:39,129 --> 00:12:41,095
<i>Oh, Xander. I'm not cute.</i>

265
00:12:41,097 --> 00:12:42,930
<i>I'm more classically beautiful.</i>

266
00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:46,200
<i>And this is Lou, who...</i>

267
00:12:46,202 --> 00:12:48,603
<i>Apparently, won't be whittling.</i>

268
00:12:50,606 --> 00:12:56,043
Emma, please tell us what else
about Camp Kikiwaka is "great."

269
00:12:56,045 --> 00:12:58,813
<i>Oh, right, the Great Lawn!</i>

270
00:12:58,815 --> 00:13:01,282
<i>Which Down-Easter magazine hailed as</i>

271
00:13:01,284 --> 00:13:03,451
<i>"much less toxic than the lake."</i>

272
00:13:03,453 --> 00:13:05,453
<i>Let's check it out!</i>

273
00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:09,090
<i>Ah! Smell that Camp Kikiwaka air.</i>

274
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,159
<i>Scientists say that's the
methane coming from the lake,</i>

275
00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:13,294
<i>but we say it smells like fun in the sun!</i>

276
00:13:14,263 --> 00:13:15,963
<i>You know what's also a blast?</i>

277
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:17,732
<i>A killer game of volleyball.</i>

278
00:13:17,734 --> 00:13:19,801
<i>Which our campers are playing right now!</i>

279
00:13:19,803 --> 00:13:20,902
(Gavel thudding)

280
00:13:20,904 --> 00:13:24,972
Next item up for bid, a
slightly used volleyball net.

281
00:13:24,974 --> 00:13:29,977
Uh, nothing says summer fun
like auctioning off summer fun.

282
00:13:31,013 --> 00:13:33,414
This could also be used as a fishing net,

283
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:36,083
to catch that special
someone of your dreams.

284
00:13:36,085 --> 00:13:37,819
Which I've never managed to do.

285
00:13:38,654 --> 00:13:40,488
(Sobbing)

286
00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:41,989
<i>Those are happy tears!</i>

287
00:13:41,991 --> 00:13:43,391
<i>No, they're not!</i>

288
00:13:49,998 --> 00:13:53,768
I can't believe Gladys is selling off
the camp in the middle of our webcast.

289
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:55,102
Should we stop?

290
00:13:55,104 --> 00:13:57,772
No, that would disappoint
thousands of my fans,

291
00:13:57,774 --> 00:13:59,006
and what's left of Lou's pigs.

292
00:13:59,008 --> 00:14:00,641
(Tablet beeping)

293
00:14:00,643 --> 00:14:03,778
Yes! And we just got our first comment!

294
00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:06,647
<i>Puglife4eva writes...</i>

295
00:14:06,649 --> 00:14:08,583
(Reading)

296
00:14:12,221 --> 00:14:13,554
<i>Okay! (Chuckles nervously)</i>

297
00:14:13,556 --> 00:14:16,157
<i>Thank you for the constructive criticism.</i>

298
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,859
<i>And that is my sister!</i>

299
00:14:20,062 --> 00:14:24,232
Uh, let's go look at our beautiful kayaks.

300
00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:28,002
<i>Some of them actually float! (Chuckles)</i>

301
00:14:28,004 --> 00:14:31,472
Gladys, we're doing a webcast to save
the camp, and instead of helping,

302
00:14:31,474 --> 00:14:33,341
you're selling everything
that's not nailed down!

303
00:14:33,343 --> 00:14:37,011
Nothing is nailed down,
because I sold all the nails!

304
00:14:37,013 --> 00:14:39,981
But this stuff isn't even
worth that much money.

305
00:14:39,983 --> 00:14:41,816
You're right. It isn't.

306
00:14:41,818 --> 00:14:46,687
(Gasps) Next item up for
bid, this hunky counselor!

307
00:14:46,689 --> 00:14:48,256
Show 'em the six-pack, kid.

308
00:14:48,258 --> 00:14:49,090
(Whispers) Come on.

309
00:14:50,659 --> 00:14:52,760
Okay, but I've had a lot of bread today.

310
00:14:53,095 --> 00:14:55,029
Emma: Or...

311
00:14:55,031 --> 00:14:56,097
We can work off that bread

312
00:14:56,099 --> 00:14:57,431
with a game of tetherball.

313
00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:58,499
Good idea.

314
00:15:00,535 --> 00:15:01,602
Hey,

315
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,772
where's the tetherball?

316
00:15:04,774 --> 00:15:08,075
Sold for $5 to that dapper
gentleman. (Chuckles)

317
00:15:10,112 --> 00:15:11,279
I wrote my number on it.

318
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:17,018
<i>Regular tetherball is for wimps.</i>

319
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:19,820
<i>Here at Camp Kikiwaka, we're
about extreme sports!</i>

320
00:15:20,222 --> 00:15:22,723
<i>Hey, Xander, ready for a
game of tether-brick?</i>

321
00:15:22,725 --> 00:15:23,791
<i>Not really.</i>

322
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,295
<i>Ow! Game over. Game over.</i>

323
00:15:27,297 --> 00:15:28,996
(Violin playing)

324
00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:31,232
Quit it.

325
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:33,401
It sounds like a dying cat!

326
00:15:33,403 --> 00:15:38,439
Speaking of dying, that's what your
routine's going to do on the webcast!

327
00:15:38,441 --> 00:15:42,209
Hey, why did one girl hit
the other girl with a violin?

328
00:15:42,211 --> 00:15:43,644
To shut her up.

329
00:15:43,646 --> 00:15:45,313
(Sighs) That's not a joke.

330
00:15:45,315 --> 00:15:47,281
No. That's what's going to happen!

331
00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:48,449
Bring it, Seinfeld!

332
00:15:51,553 --> 00:15:53,421
(Both laughing)

333
00:15:53,423 --> 00:15:54,989
This is crazy.

334
00:15:54,991 --> 00:15:56,757
Yeah, why are we even fighting?

335
00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:57,825
I don't know.

336
00:15:57,827 --> 00:15:59,794
After all, we both want the same thing!

337
00:15:59,796 --> 00:16:00,995
Yeah.

338
00:16:00,997 --> 00:16:02,797
To save this camp.

339
00:16:02,799 --> 00:16:05,800
I really don't want to leave Camp Kikiwaka.

340
00:16:05,802 --> 00:16:08,169
I mean, this is where I
learned how to have fun.

341
00:16:08,171 --> 00:16:09,303
Thanks to you.

342
00:16:09,305 --> 00:16:11,839
Remember when I introduced you to candy?

343
00:16:11,841 --> 00:16:14,041
You ate my entire
shipment of Choco-Chunks.

344
00:16:16,011 --> 00:16:17,745
Yeah, my teeth are still buzzing.

345
00:16:17,747 --> 00:16:19,347
Well, the ones that didn't fall out.

346
00:16:19,349 --> 00:16:20,414
(Giggles)

347
00:16:21,249 --> 00:16:24,218
On the bright side, you got 200
bucks from the tooth fairy.

348
00:16:25,988 --> 00:16:30,191
You know, Zuri, I actually kind
of liked your pterodactyl joke.

349
00:16:30,193 --> 00:16:31,525
Silent "p." (Chuckles)

350
00:16:31,527 --> 00:16:32,994
I love spelling-based humor.

351
00:16:34,329 --> 00:16:39,300
Thanks. And your fiddle-playing probably
would be a big draw for the nerds.

352
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:42,703
Some of you guys are okay.

353
00:16:42,705 --> 00:16:46,340
Hey, you know what would be a
really great idea for the webcast?

354
00:16:46,342 --> 00:16:49,377
If we worked together, and
did a music comedy combo!

355
00:16:49,379 --> 00:16:50,311
Awesome!

356
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,246
We could call ourselves

357
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,882
the Classical Quipsters.

358
00:16:56,184 --> 00:16:57,451
I'll work on that.

359
00:17:01,089 --> 00:17:04,825
Okay, I've sold everything out here
but the grass, which nobody wanted.

360
00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:06,360
Stupid kid stains.

361
00:17:08,397 --> 00:17:11,132
<i>Uh, so, now that the auction is over,</i>

362
00:17:11,134 --> 00:17:14,668
<i>let's show all the other fun
stuff we do here at Camp Kikiwaka.</i>

363
00:17:14,670 --> 00:17:16,237
<i>Like...</i>

364
00:17:16,239 --> 00:17:18,239
<i>Toilet-carrying races?</i>

365
00:17:18,241 --> 00:17:21,409
Okay, I think that is
enough commode coverage.

366
00:17:21,411 --> 00:17:25,246
<i>(Tablet beeping) Ooh, we have another
comment from CrayCrayInCapeCod.</i>

367
00:17:25,248 --> 00:17:26,914
<i>What is it?</i>

368
00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:29,984
<i>She requests that Xander
show off his washboard abs.</i>

369
00:17:29,986 --> 00:17:31,085
(Gasps)

370
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:32,286
Okay, okay...

371
00:17:33,321 --> 00:17:35,256
Absolutely not!

372
00:17:35,258 --> 00:17:37,618
If you show CrayCray your abs,
I'm giving Puglife my number!

373
00:17:38,427 --> 00:17:41,162
Listen, you two, we need to talk.

374
00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:44,098
You and Xander have got me like
a mule chewing on bumblebees!

375
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,232
What? Huh?

376
00:17:45,234 --> 00:17:47,601
Mad. I am mad at you.

377
00:17:47,603 --> 00:17:48,736
Why are you mad at us?

378
00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:53,274
Ravi: Uh, guys, could this little
chat wait until after the webcast?

379
00:17:53,276 --> 00:17:54,775
Remember your fans!

380
00:17:54,777 --> 00:17:57,178
<i>(Sighs) If Lou's upset,
that's more important.</i>

381
00:17:57,180 --> 00:18:00,448
<i>So forget the webcast, and forget my fans!</i>

382
00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,016
<i>Love you guys! (Chuckles nervously)</i>

383
00:18:02,018 --> 00:18:06,120
No! I have worked too hard and
read too many typo-ridden comments

384
00:18:06,122 --> 00:18:07,421
to stop now.

385
00:18:07,423 --> 00:18:11,025
If you want to turn off this camera,
you will have to take it from me.

386
00:18:11,027 --> 00:18:14,862
Warning, I did two push-ups
yesterday, so I am still jacked up!

387
00:18:16,131 --> 00:18:17,198
I'll take my chances.

388
00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:22,069
That is it.

389
00:18:22,071 --> 00:18:25,639
I give up on the webcast
and saving the camp.

390
00:18:25,641 --> 00:18:28,943
If anyone needs me, I will be
packing up Mrs. Kipling's nighties.

391
00:18:31,313 --> 00:18:34,248
Lou, what is going on? What did we do?

392
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:38,385
You two are so wrapped up in each
other, it's like no one else exists.

393
00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:42,256
<i>You guys didn't even consider
my great ideas for the webcast.</i>

394
00:18:42,258 --> 00:18:44,291
<i>You wanted to sacrifice a rat!</i>

395
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:49,330
Okay, they can't all be home runs.

396
00:18:49,332 --> 00:18:52,833
My point is, since you
two started dating...

397
00:18:52,835 --> 00:18:54,702
(Sighs) I feel kind of left out.

398
00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:58,939
Lou, I am so sorry that we made
you feel like a third wheel.

399
00:18:58,941 --> 00:19:01,475
Yeah. Why didn't you say something before?

400
00:19:01,477 --> 00:19:03,978
Because you guys are so happy together.

401
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:06,280
I don't want to get in the way of that.

402
00:19:06,282 --> 00:19:08,749
Lou, you could never get in the way.

403
00:19:08,751 --> 00:19:11,652
Yeah. You've been my best
friend since we were ten,

404
00:19:11,654 --> 00:19:13,354
when we met on the bus ride up here.

405
00:19:13,356 --> 00:19:14,588
I remember.

406
00:19:14,590 --> 00:19:15,756
You threw up the whole way.

407
00:19:15,758 --> 00:19:17,559
And you were the only
one who didn't tease me.

408
00:19:18,693 --> 00:19:20,494
Plus, you held the barf bag.

409
00:19:20,496 --> 00:19:21,862
That was my backpack.

410
00:19:24,533 --> 00:19:25,614
You are such a good friend.

411
00:19:26,468 --> 00:19:27,601
I'm so sorry, Lou.

412
00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:30,104
<i>(Sniffling) Me too.</i>

413
00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:33,307
<i>I love you guys.</i>

414
00:19:33,309 --> 00:19:34,441
<i>And we love you.</i>

415
00:19:35,477 --> 00:19:38,879
In fact, that's been the
best thing about this camp.

416
00:19:38,881 --> 00:19:40,181
Becoming friends with you guys.

417
00:19:41,016 --> 00:19:42,550
Ditto.

418
00:19:42,552 --> 00:19:44,818
How about the three of us go
for a swim in the lake together?

419
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:45,953
Great idea!

420
00:19:45,955 --> 00:19:47,655
Last one in is a rotten egg!

421
00:19:47,657 --> 00:19:50,357
Which is ironic, 'cause that's
what the lake smells like.

422
00:19:52,894 --> 00:19:55,062
Okay, we're ready to help save the camp!

423
00:19:56,631 --> 00:19:58,799
Where did everybody go?

424
00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:01,135
I can't believe we missed the webcast!

425
00:20:01,137 --> 00:20:02,803
Well, it's their loss.

426
00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:05,639
Now they'll never hear
the musical comedy stylings

427
00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:07,641
of the Classical Quipsters.

428
00:20:09,211 --> 00:20:10,251
Sorry, I couldn't beat it.

429
00:20:13,582 --> 00:20:16,517
I can't believe this is gonna
be our last summer together.

430
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,085
It's so sad.

431
00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:19,920
Maybe, I'll write a song about it.

432
00:20:19,922 --> 00:20:21,388
What rhymes with "toilet auction"?

433
00:20:23,692 --> 00:20:27,294
You know, when I first got here,
all I wanted to do was leave.

434
00:20:28,263 --> 00:20:33,534
Now, all I want to do is
stay here, with all of you.

435
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:37,204
(Sighs) Miserable next summer
with my mom, here I come.

436
00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:40,608
Hey, maybe she won't be as
hard on you as you think.

437
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:42,843
(All laughing)

438
00:20:43,712 --> 00:20:47,581
Oh, Zuri, even in the darkest times,
you still have a sense of humor.

439
00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:52,253
(Panting) Hey, everyone! Great news!

440
00:20:52,255 --> 00:20:54,688
Our webcast was a hit!

441
00:20:54,690 --> 00:20:57,057
We got 300 new applications.

442
00:20:57,059 --> 00:20:58,425
So we're back in business!

443
00:20:58,427 --> 00:20:59,760
(All cheering and whooping)

444
00:21:01,296 --> 00:21:03,197
That's great, but how?

445
00:21:03,199 --> 00:21:04,932
The webcast was a disaster.

446
00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:07,968
True. However, it turns out
that the camera stayed on

447
00:21:07,970 --> 00:21:11,038
during Emma, Lou, and
Xander's warm reconciliation.

448
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:15,042
The fans loved it so much, now they
all want to come to Camp Kikiwaka!

449
00:21:15,044 --> 00:21:18,946
Apparently, people really love that
"friends forever" mumbo jumbo!

450
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:24,551
Looks like we're gonna be
besties at camp next summer, too.

451
00:21:24,553 --> 00:21:26,453
We're going to be besties forever.

452
00:21:28,056 --> 00:21:30,457
Or at least until the black
mold in our cabin kills us.

453
00:21:31,393 --> 00:21:34,295
Hey, that is great insulation.

454
00:21:34,297 --> 00:21:37,564
Anyway, thank you all so
much for saving our camp.

455
00:21:37,566 --> 00:21:41,135
Now I just have to buy back the canoes,
the flag pole, the pool table...

456
00:21:41,137 --> 00:21:42,503
And the toilets?

457
00:21:42,505 --> 00:21:44,972
Nah, just cut out the middle
man and go in the lake.

458
00:21:44,974 --> 00:21:46,640
That's where the toilets lead, anyway.

459
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,542
All: Ew!

460
00:21:51,446 --> 00:21:54,181
It feels really good to have
everything back to normal.

461
00:21:54,183 --> 00:21:57,484
It feels even better
having our toilet back.

462
00:21:57,486 --> 00:21:58,552
I'll say.

463
00:21:59,954 --> 00:22:02,122
Thank you all again so much.

464
00:22:02,124 --> 00:22:03,791
I haven't been this happy

465
00:22:03,793 --> 00:22:05,994
since your father finally
lifted that restraining order.

466
00:22:06,628 --> 00:22:08,629
Congratulations!

467
00:22:08,631 --> 00:22:12,666
Now you won't have to stand 100 yards
away from the camp on Parents' Day!

468
00:22:13,868 --> 00:22:17,171
Anyway, after the success
of your live webcast,

469
00:22:17,173 --> 00:22:20,507
I now realize we need to
update our promotional video.

470
00:22:20,509 --> 00:22:21,875
(All agreeing and sighing)

471
00:22:24,713 --> 00:22:29,016
Uh, Gladys, how exactly
is this "updated"?

472
00:22:29,018 --> 00:22:31,852
Because in this one, we're going
to be doing the running man!

473
00:22:31,854 --> 00:22:33,687
Now dance, or I'll sell your clothes

474
00:22:33,689 --> 00:22:36,690
and you'll be stuck in these
outfits for the rest of the summer!

475
00:22:36,692 --> 00:22:38,525
Action!

476
00:22:38,527 --> 00:22:39,860
(1980s music playing)

477
00:22:46,701 --> 00:22:48,502
Please tell me you're
not really filming this.

478
00:22:48,703 --> 00:22:49,870
Of course not.

479
00:22:49,872 --> 00:22:52,172
I am watching cat videos. (Cat meowing)

480
00:22:52,174 --> 00:22:55,743
Mr. Meowington thinks he
can fit in that tiny box!

481
00:22:56,745 --> 00:22:57,978
Adorable. (Chuckles)


